Christmas Jokes

Christmas Jokes
The holiday season of Christmas is the time to let loose all the tensions of everyday life and have a lot of fun. It is the perfect occasion to call upon family members, relatives and long lost friends and spend some quality time with them. During the holidays, people would take part in activities such as making crafts, singing Christmas songs and carols, dance performances etc. In some Christmas parties, people would crack funny jokes in order to break the ice and make the newcomers a bit comfortable with others. If you are searching for some jokes to crack during the parties, then this article is what you need. Check out the following lines to get some jokes based on Christmas.

Funny Christmas Jokes

Q - How can Santa's sleigh possibly fly through the air?
A - You would too if you were pulled by flying reindeer!

Q - How do you make a slow reindeer fast ?
A - Don't feed it !

Q - How do you get into Donner's house?
A - You ring the "deer"-bell!

Q - How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
A - He looks at his calen-"deer"!

Q - I'm so strong I could lift a reindeer with one hand.
A - Yeah, but where are we going to find a one-handed reindeer?

Q - What's a child's favourite king at Christmas?
A - A stoKING

Q- What do elves learn in school?
A-The Elf-abet!

Q- What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A- Claustrophobic!

Q- What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A- Snowflakes!

Q- Who sings "Love me tender", and makes Christmas toys?
A- Santa's little Elvis. (Elvis lives!

Q- Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?
A- "Rude"olph

Q- What do you have in December that you don`t have in any other month? A- A
A - The letter "D”!

Q - What did the cow say on Christmas morning?
A - Mooooey Christmas!

Q - What never eats at Christmas time?
A - Turkey, it is usually stuffed!

Q - What do you get if a vampire crosses the road with jack frost?
A - Frost bite!

Q - Why did the duck cross the road?
A - To quack open the eyes.

Q - What is the best xmas present in the world?
A - A broken drum, coz u can't beat it!

Why is it difficult to keep a secret at the North Pole?
A - Because your teeth chatter!

Q - How do Chihuahua's say Merry Christmas?
A - Fleas Navidog!

Q - What do sheep say to shepherds at Christmastime?
A - Season's Bleatings!

Q - What do you call an elf who steals gift wrap from the rich and gives it to the poor?
A - Ribbon Hood!

Q - What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A - It's Christmas, Eve!

Q - What is the best key to get at Christmas?
A - A turkey!

Q - What do wild animals sing at Christmastime?
A - Jungle bells, jungle bells, jungle all the way!

Q - A Christmas thought:
A - STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward.

Q - Why do Mummies like Christmas so much?
A - Because of all the wrapping!

Ten Commandments for a Joyful Christmas

1. Thou shalt not leave “Christ” out of Christmas, making it “Xmas.” To some, “X” is an unknown.
2. Thou shalt prepare thy soul for Christmas. Spend not so much on gifts that thy soul is forgotten.
3. Thou shalt not let Santa Claus replace Christ, thus robbing the day of its spiritual reality.
4. Thou shalt not burden the shop girl, the mailman, and the merchant with complaints and demands.
5. Thou shalt give thyself with thy gift. This will increase its value a hundredfold, and he who receiveth it shall treasure it forever.
6. Thou shalt not value gifts received by their cost. Even the least expensive gift may signify love, and that is more priceless than silver and gold.
7. Thou shalt not neglect the needy. Share thy blessings with many who will go hungry and cold unless thou art generous.
8. Thou shalt not neglect thy church. Its services highlight the true meaning of the season.
9. Thou shalt be as a little child. Not until thou has become in spirit as a little one art thou ready to enter into the kingdom of Heaven.
10. Thou shalt give thy heart to Christ. Let Him be at the top of thy Christmas list.

It was Christmas eve, and Santa was really busy making his list and checking it twice, when there came a knock at the door. His wife comes in. "Honey, where do you want me to put your boots and gloves?" Well, Santa is very busy and so he's slightly annoyed by this trivial question, so he snaps at her, "Put them by the front door, and stop bothering me. I'm trying to get some work done." He starts back to work, but a few minutes later an elf barges in. "Santa, we got all the toys wrapped, what should we do with them?" Santa snaps, "Stick 'em in the sleigh! Can't you see I'm trying to get ready? I don't want any more interruptions!" But sure enough, as soon as he starts back to work, there is another interruption. An angel, standing at the door, says, "Santa, I have your Christmas tree. Where would you like me to put it?" And this is where we get the tradition of placing an ange l on top of the Christmas tree.

wala ako christmas joke..... bangggggggggggggggg

may Ten Commandments pa. haaaaa

charlo ten commandments pah marag ka memorizes cya ana

KA BIBO NILA DIRE OI....BALI NI C 10 10 PA LAGI NA ONA...BANG.....ASA MAN KO ANENG PANAHONA OI.....WEEEEEEE

GI ABLIHAN NAMAN NI NIMO TANAN PREE


BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG

NAA RAMAN DIRE CLA PREE.....GA PA HIPE RAMAN CLA...AHAHHAHA....